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“Talkin’ Bout a Revolution”

Dear America,

Try not to be too alarmed by what I am about to say: I like science lab. Australia has done the impossible and actually made this normally long, tedious, long, tiring, long, irritating, and long class enjoyable. I’ve learned plenty of things – science related and not – that  will undoubtedly help me out in the future. I wanted to share some of my top revelations with you so grab a pen and enjoy:

1. Labs are still too long.

2. I look awesome in lab goggles.

3. No pants!

3a. *No pants required.

3b. **No pants required when other clothing worn.

3c. ***To clarify, you must be fully clothed while in lab.

4. Choosing a partner who looks as hopelessly lost as you makes everything more fun – shout out to Marie.

5. Lab is not the time to practice your Aussie accent.

6. There is never a good time to practice your Aussie accent.

7. Apparently all Americans sound southern.

8. “Enough” is not a sufficient answer to “How many cells did you count?”

9. Talking too often can result in accidental ingestion of ATP solution.

10. Eating ATP does not make you more energized. It does taste like burnt popcorn.

11. Even in Australia I am still the greatest threat to my survival.

12. Know yo conversionz.

13. Oliver is an angel.

14. To the moderators, looking busy and actually doing work are  the same thing.

15. Microscopes are dumb.

16. Singing mid-way through lab is not a common practice and directly results in you receiving some serious side eye.

17. Check your lab coat pockets before leaving.

18. If  test tubes somehow find their way home with you, they make great toothbrush covers (wash first).

19. Pipetting is an art. And I am Picasso.

20. Plants are dumb.

21. Lab is NOT a race. Unless you finish first, then you’re a winner and can eat Tim-Tams for dinner.

Clearly my intellectual horizons are expanding at an alarming rate. I will continue to share my wisdom with you because who couldn’t benefit from this wealth of knowledge?







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