Butterflies and Emotional Rollercoasters
Hey there people!
I’m Dayla, and to be honest I have never been one for much small talk, so let’s just dive in and tell you about this rollercoaster of nerves and excitement I have been riding.
The first and hardest hump in my Australia prep was actually not too bad! Here’s the image: Dalyla (That’s me!) staring at my suitcase, staring at my clothes surrounding me, staring at my suitcase, and coming to a final conclusion: this is not possible. The end. Mystery solved. How can an hyper over-packer who pretty much moved the entirety of her room into her dorm for the past few years be expected to fit a semester of living into a single suitcase! Despite my over-packing nature, I must complete the task. However, I Dalyla McGee have some how successfully fit my suitcase in the 66 lbs limit. Well, being honest, I had lots of help from 3 of my most trusted and strong willed friends who helped me with the crucial decisions of “three sweaters or four?” and gave me a dose of sound realism when I was adamant about the necessity of bringing my band of stuffed animals. And the best part is they worked just for pizza… and of course just being good friends.
But now that the biggest hill and battle was done I was coasting and enjoying the ride. I spent a few weeks to spend time with friends and simply gather goodbyes. I also gathered lots of advice warranted and unwarranted. The most popular were about the kangaroos, koalas, and vegemite. My favorite were the reminders of the huge spiders. Now that was lovely. Despite the silly comments and advice, those few moments with friends and family really reminded me of what I was going to miss.
Unexpectedly my roller coaster of emotions dived for the worst. I would suddenly drive past my streets I grew up on and am reluctant to leave them. I get frustrated that I will not be present for the opportunities and events at my university. Will I be forgotten? What if I hate it there? What if I’m the annoying and loud American? I mean, loud American’s are always telling me I am speaking to loud already. And then I reached the pit when I realized I would be the most alone I have ever been in my life. I have never been in a place where all familiarity is stripped like this. I have never been out of the country. I have never been out of the east coast. I have never done any of this before and I just question over and over “should I be doing this???”
So yes in all honesty the anticipation and nervousness is paired with a lot of fear. It even has followed me to this very moment while I am hanging out with my mom in LA before heading to Australia, but I feel the excitement pushing me up the next hill for the thrills to come. I know that this experience will be beyond amazing and possibly life changing, but I would be lying to say I wasn’t nervous or scared. But I have confidence these are just a case of butterflies and cold feet. And my theatre experience tells me that once reality hits the butterflies will disappear and allow me to enjoy the ride with its highs and the lows.